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How to Live Like a King
By Nick Radovanovic
It seems a lot of folks are unsatisfied with their situation in life. Discontented with their 9 to 5 jobs, they dream of a better lifestyle - a lifestyle of vast wealth and unsurpassed luxury. The lifestyle, in short, of a king. So today, as my season's gift to the community, I'm going to share the secret of how to live like a king. Here's a step-by-step guide to monarchic living. First off, let's consider food. The kings had the privilege of feasting on the finest banquets in the land. While their subjects subsisted on gruel and salted cod, the kings ate roasted meat... and roasted meat... and more roasted meat. They didn't have access to fresh fruits and vegetables all your round, whereas you can take a trip to the grocery store and buy a pear, a pack of strawberries, or even a mango, anytime you wish. The kings could send emissaries to the Orient and hear of their travels, but they couldn't call the Chinese take-away, or go to a Vietnamese, Japanese, or Thai restaurant. Clearly, then, in terms of food, at least, your lifestyle already surpasses that of a king. Now let's consider travel. If a king chose, he could make the journey to a foreign land. When travelling to Italy from England, the trip took a week - just to get to the Dover coast from London, by horse and carriage. This was followed by an arduous sea journey, and an overland ordeal of epic proportions. The Alps couldn't be passed except in the summer months, often entailing a delay of an entire season. You, meanwhile, can fly Italy in just a few hours, and if you book well in advance it won't cost you much. Clearly, then, in terms of travel, at least, your lifestyle already surpasses that of a king. Now let's consider healthcare. The kings, of course, had their pick of the finest physicians in the land. Kings could also send envoys to scour all four corners of the kingdom for potions, elixiers, and magic spells. Some kings even sent their minions searching for the potion of everlasting life, but what they received tended to be poisons such as arsenic. You, however, can go to the local clinic and get a prescription for antibiotics, surely a magic potion if there ever was one. And you also have plenty of soap, hot water, and disinfectant, so you won't die of infections arising out of routine cuts and abrasions - never mind wounds sustained in battle. Clearly, then, in terms of medicine, at least, your lifestyle already surpasses that of a king. Now let's consider entertainment. A king had a court jester at his disposal, tasked with nothing but keeping the king amused. If the king got bored of the jester's antics, he could have the hapless man's head lopped off for further amusement. The king also had dwarves, moors, and various other exotic characters to keep him entertained. Doubtless, it would be fun to have jesters to entertain you - perhaps for the first week. But to have nothing but jesters all year round? I don't know about you, but I would prefer to switch on the TV and have my choice of blockbusters, sports action, game shows, or even a talk show. Failing that, I can go to a movie, to the ballpark, or even crank up the old Internet and see what the world-wide web has to offer. I'd say that in terms of entertainment your lifestyle already surpasses that of a king, unless maybe you get a kick out of beheading comedians. Now let's consider housing. Kings lived in palaces. Some of these are still around today. They truly are splendid, with high ceilings, gilded decorative artwork, and extensive gardens - but no indoor plumbing. The kings would do their business on a gilded chamberpot. The palaces also lacked central heating and double-glazing. I suppose a palace would be preferable to your current home if you like squatting on chamberpots in front of your servants and wearing thick clothing inside the house. On balance, I'd say that in terms of housing, at least, your lifestyle already surpasses that of a king. Now let's consider your job. The main perk of being a king is enjoying the adulation of crowds and being fawned over by countless hangers-on. You relax on your throne while chatting with your courtiers, ministers, and advisors. If you don't like someone you can have them thrown into the dungeon, or beheaded. But with great power comes great responsibility, and failure to keep the subjects happy will result in peasant riots, or the banding together of a bunch of nobles who will try to take your palace and gilded chamberpots away from you. Invasions from abroad, and palace coups by ambitious relatives who will try to have you assassinated, are a constant lurking danger. Are you checking your coffee and donuts for poison on a routine basis? If not, then in terms of stress and job security, at least, your lifestyle already surpasses that of a king. Conclusion: be happy with your mundane job in the mail room or audit department or whatever, and enjoy your creature comforts - because you're already living much better than any king ever did. |
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 | | tozcal2008 agreed with this intel. Feb 22, 2011 |  | | adac agreed with this intel. Mar 18, 2011 |  | | onlineMD applauded this intel. Sep 27, 2011 |  | | R Foreman liked this intel. Sep 27, 2011 |  | | biblefreeorg loved this intel. Sep 27, 2011 |
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Classic, funny and a beautiful reminder to have gratitude for the life I have.
Blessings
That was fun! Thanks!
A good lesson in gratitude and, perhaps, expectations!
Everyone forgets to mention the choice of women. *smiles* Great intel Nick and right on the money. In all aspects of life, when you feel your 'lot' is untenable, consider those who are worse off than you are, and you will appreciate that what you have is not really so bad after all. Well done!
Nice Thought! But in our country he who got money is King!
outstanding article, quite true, lets all be grateful for what we have.
Great intel Nick.
Well planed and well written, just an enjoyable read.
Just a foot note,way back when,life expectency was between 30 and 45 years. I'll take all that I can get, thank you.
Keep up the interesting intels.
Frederick
Fun reading and a good reminder of what we have available to live a "good life."
A great intel Nick. How lucky we all are today. I live in the Borders area between Newcastle and Edinburgh and there are many castles. Great to visit but not to live in...
I really enjoyed reading your inte Nick. It is good to be reminded that generally speaking, life today is pretty darn good compared to the way people lived during "the age of kings."
A very interesting insight. Makes me appreciate my "royal" life.
Thanks for another great read, Nick. It's great to be king!
Yes, we can live like Kings and Queens, but without the responsibility. Even a cozy little mobile home in a senior park would be warmer and safer than life in a drafty all castle, I think.
Well put!
 | | adac Mar 18, 2011 21:07 | |
So I can stop looking for a princess to marry who is in line for the throne? Speaking of throne you didn't mention the bathroom of a king.
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This intel was contributed by nick
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February, 2012
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